On the road to recovery

I've really been slacking on the blog but I have a good excuse - I've been pretty sick & here's the story in a nutshell...

Breastfeeding was going really well once we got past the initial week or two but somewhere during week 5 or 6 I started getting sore again and not feeling so hot.  I felt achy like I had the flu but didn't have a fever - the nurse told me to watch out for mastitis (an infection) if I ever had a fever with the aches.  Well since I never got a fever, I never called the doctor...bad idea.  It's ends up that I had mastitis (probably the whole time) and since it wasn't treated soon enough I developed an abscess.  My doctor sent me to the hospital on Friday to have the abscess drained and to get a drain put in so it could heal.  

Needless to say, it's been a pretty crappy week or two.  Luckily, Kinley is doing awesome and is healthy as can be - mommy just needs to get better.  I was ready to throw in the 'nursing' towel when I left the hospital since that was about as bad as it could get.  I was emotionally drained and didn't want to have to deal with nursing anymore.  All of the lactation consultants I spoke to have urged me to keep nursing because it will help everything heal.  So I've continued to nurse and we've supplemented with formula when Kinley is still hungry.  The first 3 days were really tough on me because I had planned to nurse for at least the first 6 months and I felt like a quitter if I gave up.  I realize that I have more than enough reason to be done with it but something in me just isn't ready.  One minute I'm "over it" and just want to be done and the next I'm sad that I might have to quit.

Anyway, hopefully everything will look better next week and I can get the drain removed because it is such a PAIN!  After that, I think I'll be in a better mindset to make the decision.  I just keep reminding myself that overall, it could be much worse - I could have an awful disease or Kinley could be the sick one.  I'm still counting my blessings and trying to keep a positive attitude even though it's so easy to say "it's not fair!"  I have 3 weeks left of maternity leave and I must enjoy every minute of it with my peanut!   

In the midst of all this we have had some fun, too!  Kinley's 1st Halloween and Andy's 21st birthday blogs are coming soon...